Gone
by Secret-Ninja1
Summary: Killua watches as his only light dies in his arms.


Gon gasped as the breath was ripped from him, his body tumbling into the dirt as a sign of defeat. The cuts around his face bled and his broken leg was starting to swell purple, his dry lips catching the dirt below him and decorating his teeth with ugly blotches of red and brown.

He had chosen to fight Hisoka alone, for the sake of his pride and the urge for another rematch after the debt repaid in Heavens Arena. He left Killua back in town, promising to come back soon with another close victory, at least. Now he was beaten, broken, and unable to keep his promise.

"You grew so much." Gon watched as Hisoka moved closer to his form, his eyesight fading with each passing second, "And this is what you've amounted to. A pity." Gon felt himself being lifted up by his neck, sharp nails pressing into his skin.

"It's been a pleasure."

" _Gon!_ "

Killua's cry was caught in his throat as he watched Hisoka's nails penetrate Gon's neck, his friend's body writhing in his grip, his blood oozing into his shirt and staining the fabric. Hisoka's fingers gleamed with Gon's blood, the dark crimson seemed to sparkle from the moon light overhead. He came too late.

Gon was dropped onto the ground a moment later, Hisoka eying his work with a satisfied grin before he disappeared into the brush with nothing more than a friendly wave towards Killua's direction.

The boy had stumbled from his hiding place, the tears already falling before he even reached the pool of blood and limp flesh that was Gon. His shoes slid through the thick liquid before he fell to his knees, clutching Gon's hand between his. "Gon," Killua searched his friend's face for any signs of life, finding that the light in his eyes were beginning to fade, "Gon! Please, stay with me. I-I'll get help!"

There were large puncture holes in Gon's throat, tattered skin that peeled from the wounds as he struggled to breathe. They both knew that Gon wasn't going to make it in time, though Gon offered a shaking smile as reassurance. He wanted to speak with him in his last moments, but he would only spit up his own blood in response.

Killua lifted his head into his lap, the boy holding his hand up to his neck in an attempt to stop the blood from leaking out. The added pressure only made it worse and his own fingers were coated with the warm fluid. With nothing left to help, he could only watch as Gon fought until his body became motionless in his arms. His eyes were dim and still as they stared up at Killua.

His only light was gone for good.

"I'm sorry," Killua bit his lip and let the tears fall onto Gon's pale face, the droplets curving down his bloody chin and into his wounds. Gon wasn't there to smile at him anymore; to convince him that things were alright. There was nothing in Gon's eyes that made Killua believe that things were going to get better. "I wasn't there for you again."

Killua stayed by Gon's side until daybreak, feeling the body grow cold and stiff as he watched the sun peak out from the trees as a sign of a day starting anew. He brushed his fingers through Gon's hair, wishing that he could see the sun rising with his friend one more time.

He knew he couldn't stay here forever. His light was smothered by the darkness and there was nothing keeping him away from his true self. Killua was nothing more than a puppet without passion. He didn't deserve the right to be Gon's friend. His source of happiness was no longer in existence.

 _He was a killer_.

"Do you see now?" Fingers curled around his shoulder, the familiar voice pulling him gently from his thoughts. "This is what happens when you make friends."

Killua moved the boy from his lap and laid him down in the grass, bringing himself to his feet. His sight was fixed on the ground, seeing through the body as if it wasn't even there. He brought his hand up to hold his brother's, the action displayed as a sign of surrender.

Illumi smiled, squeezing his hand and looking down at his younger brother. "Are you ready to go home now?"

Killua's eyes were dry and dark, the boy hearing nothing but Illumi and feeling nothing but Illumi. His world was nothing but Illumi now. How was he so oblivious to his brother's affections before? His family had always loved him, from the very beginning. They wanted nothing but the best for him. He couldn't remember what made him so blind to it before.

"Yeah."


End file.
